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Dr. Sleepy Pasta

I Work for a Strange Company. They Sent me Down Where Nobody Goes.

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Still from I Work for a Strange Company. They Sent me Down Where Nobody Goes.

Four in the morning, and I'm driving the levee road along the Mississippi in Adams County with nothing ahead of me but my own headlights. No traffic. No lights but mine. The berm runs like a raised spine between the river and the flat black fields, and at this hour it feels like the only high ground left.

I do most of my driving at hours like this. My name is Curtis Sandoval. I work for something called the Remediation Desk. If you go looking for it you won't find it — no website, no listed office, no name on a directory in some federal building. It exists to find what's left over from projects the government built and then buried, on paper and in the ground, somewhere between the nineteen forties and the nineteen eighties.

Flood basins. Drainage reroutes. Places where they put things they didn't want and sealed the door and called it done. My contact is a man named Austin Grant. He calls me on a landline — never my cell, never email, just the phone at whatever rental I'm staying in that month.

A grid coordinate. A county name. And then two words: prior federal interest. After that he tells me what the Desk already knows, which is usually less than I'd like. Every site I go to has a cover built into it already.

Some sluice gate that needs checking. A weir wall due for inspection. If a county worker or a landowner asks what I'm doing out there with a thermometer and a camera, I've got paperwork that says exactly why, and none of it is the real reason. I took this job because it sounded like the work I knew.

Eleven years reading concrete for the Corps — where it was thin, where it was failing, where the water was pushing harder than the design allowed. I was wrong. There are four jobs that taught me how wrong, and I'm going to tell you about all four.

The phone rang at seven that morning. My rental in Natchez doesn't have caller ID, doesn't need it. Only one person calls that line.

"Claiborne County," Austin said.

No hello. He never bothers with hello.

"Grid coordinate coming through on the fax."

"I'm listening."

"Prior federal interest."

That's the phrase. He gave me what the Desk had. A flood-retention basin, decommissioned, tied to a Corps project from the fifties on a tributary running into the Big Black River, out past Port Gibson. Dry for thirty years. A county crew doing culvert work along the access road had called something in — a smell coming off the concrete outlet structure.

Warm. Organic. One of the men said it reminded him of a feedlot in July.

"Basin's had no water flow in three decades," Austin said.

"There's no source for that."

"I'll go look."

"Documented," he said, and that was the end of the call, the way it always is.

I got there by early afternoon, sun still high, gravel road running out to a berm nobody maintains anymore. The outlet structure sat at the base of it — six feet of concrete pipe, sealed with a steel plate bolted into the face. It bowed outward, toward me, like something behind it had been pressing on it for a long time and never let up.

I set the surface thermometer against the steel and waited on the number. Eleven degrees warmer than the air around it. No sun on that face, no reason for it to hold heat at all, not for a structure that's been bone dry since Eisenhower. I looked at the bolt flanges next, at how the stress marks ran.

Whatever pushed on that plate did it slow, over years, not all at once. I got my socket wrench and went to work on the bolts. The smell hit me before the plate was off. Warm. Anaerobic.

Something rotting in a way that still had life behind it. I clipped my four-gas monitor to my chest, checked the flashlight, checked the camera, and went in. The Corps survey in my jacket pocket said sixty linear feet to the far wall. I walked it out anyway, counting my steps the way I always do.

Sixty feet came and went. No wall. No joint. No seam in the concrete to mark where the old pour ended and something else began. The pipe just kept going, same diameter, same gray concrete.

I kept walking. At ninety feet the floor changed under my boots. Glassy. Slightly domed, like the aggregate itself had been pushed up from underneath and smoothed out after. At a hundred feet I found the fractures.

Fine, radiating out from points no bigger than my thumb, cracking the wall in patterns like frost on glass. It was inside the concrete. In the aggregate. At a hundred and twenty feet I stopped and swung the flashlight both ways. Nothing.

No far end behind me, no far end ahead. Just pipe running out past what the beam could reach in either direction. The smell had turned sweeter. Fermentation. Silage left too long in a barrel.

I put my light on the nearest set of fractures and watched them breathe. I counted it out — fourteen seconds, slow and even. Forty more feet and I found it. Dark tissue, wet-looking, threaded through the aggregate the whole way — floor, walls, up into the crown of the pipe. Forty feet of it, easy, running ahead of me into the dark.

I held my palm a few inches off the surface and felt heat coming off it, real heat. It pulsed. Fourteen seconds. I didn't touch it. I got what footage I could, backed out the way I came, and didn't look behind me once until I was standing in the open air with the plate hanging loose on its last bolt.

I called Austin from the truck cab, parked on the levee road, engine off, windows up against the smell that had followed me out onto my own clothes.

"Biological mass," I said.

"Vascular tissue. Warm. Pulsing on a fourteen-second cycle. It's grown into the concrete aggregate of the outlet structure, at least forty linear feet of it. And the pipe runs long. Survey has it at sixty feet. I walked past a hundred and sixty and never found the end."

Austin didn't say anything for a while. "The basin was a secondary disposal route," he said finally.

"Late fifties. There was a USDA fermentation research facility two counties north, near Vicksburg. Classified program. This basin took some of their waste."

"What kind of waste."

"Biological processing waste," he said.

"It was documented as inert at the time of disposal."

Four days after I called it in, a Corps maintenance crew showed up at the basin with real permits and fake paperwork. Somebody at the Desk pulls a maintenance contract out of a drawer, dates it, and the county thinks it's a culvert job. Nobody local asks questions when the trucks say United States Army Corps of Engineers on the door.

I wasn't there for the dig. I never am. I drove past on the second day, just to see the trucks lined up on the access road, backhoes parked nose to tail, a fence going up around the berm faster than any real maintenance crew would bother with. I didn't stop. Wasn't my place to.

By Thursday it was done. I know what they found because I read the summary later, sitting at the kitchen table in my rental with a cup of coffee going cold next to the laptop. The tissue mass hadn't stayed inside the pipe. It had gone out sideways, through the concrete, into the clay around the basin.

Two acres. Two acres in every direction from the outlet structure, and I'd walked forty feet of it myself with a flashlight and thought that was something. They sealed what they could reach. Poured concrete over the excavation, capped the outlet, rerouted the county road a half mile east so nobody had a reason to drive past the berm again.

The public record calls it a subsidence hazard. Nobody in Claiborne County is going to file a complaint about a phrase like that. I finished the coffee. I logged into the Desk's internal system, the one Austin walks me through updates to over the landline because there's no other way in. Site file.

Claiborne County. Pulled it up. Flagged: monitoring active. I sat with that for a minute. It means the team couldn't confirm the thing had stopped.

It means they poured concrete over something that was still moving when the last truck pulled off the access road, and nobody knows if concrete is going to hold it any better than the plate did. I thought about the fourteen-second cycle. How even, how patient it was. I closed the laptop and sat there in the quiet of the rental, listening to a dog barking down the block and the hum of the refrigerator.

Monitoring active.

Four months went by before the landline rang again. March, the fields in Issaquena County still brown from winter, the ditches running full. Austin gave me the grid coordinate the same way he always does. County name. Then the words prior federal interest, like he was reading them off a card.

"Half-mile section of two-lane," he said.

"West of Yazoo City. State patrol reported the road surface settled three inches overnight. Multiple drivers said the road felt soft under their boots when they got out to look."

"Soft how?"

"That's what you're going to find out."

He didn't give me anything else. No history, no old project number, nothing about who built what out there or when. Just the coordinate and the settlement report and a dial tone. I drove up that morning and parked at the edge of it, where the blacktop still looked like blacktop. Wide floodplain on both sides, flat as a table, nothing but winter grass and a treeline a half mile off.

I stepped out of the truck and felt it. A vibration, low and steady, coming up through the asphalt into the soles of my boots. I stood there and counted it. Fourteen seconds. Same as the pipe outside Port Gibson, to the second, and I felt something go cold in my chest.

I got out the surface thermometer and took a reading on the affected stretch, then walked back fifty yards and took another on blacktop that hadn't moved. Twelve degrees warmer, right in the middle of the settled section, and nothing in the sun angle or the shade to account for it. No trees over that stretch at all.

Flat sky, flat road, flat light. I knelt down on the center line and put my palm flat against the asphalt. It was intact. No cracks, no heave, nothing you could point a camera at and call damage. But under my hand it was moving, a slow pulse working up from underneath, and when I timed it against my watch it wasn't quite even.

Fourteen seconds, then thirteen, then fifteen. A machine doesn't breathe like that. I drove the half mile slow after that, both windows down, and I counted three farmhouses sitting close to the shoulder, porches practically hanging over the ditch. I stopped at the nearest one and knocked. A man answered.

Thick through the shoulders, sun-worn, hands like he'd been working ground his whole life. "Help you?" he said.

"Curtis Sandoval. I'm out here about the road."

I didn't say who for. Never do.

"Jaden Fox," he said, and shook my hand, and something in his face told me he'd been waiting on somebody to knock for a while now.

"You farm this place?"

"Twenty-two years."

He looked past me at the road like it had done something to him personally. "You with the county?"

"Federal. Corps contract."

Which was true enough on paper. He let me in and we sat at his kitchen table, and he told me the water had started tasting wrong back in January. Warm, he said, and a little sweet, which he didn't like the sound of any better than I did. He'd had a company out to check the casing and the pump.

They found nothing. "Nothing wrong with either one," he said.

"Man told me maybe it was something upstream. I don't know what's upstream of a well."

I didn't either. I wrote it down. Then he got quiet, turned his coffee cup a half turn on the table, and told me about his daughter.

"Tammy," he said.

"Fifteen. She's been getting up at two, three in the morning. Walking out to the edge of the property, right up near the road. I hear the screen door go and I go out and get her."

"She wake up out there?"

"No. Just stands there. Looking at the road, far as I can tell. I bring her in and she doesn't remember a thing about it."

"How long has this been happening?"

"Since February."

He said it the way he'd said twenty-two years, like he was keeping a record whether he meant to or not.

"About a month after the water turned. She's never walked in her sleep before. Not once, not as a little girl, not ever."

I asked if I could see where she stood, and he pointed me to the fence line nearest the shoulder, worn grass where somebody had stood there enough nights running to leave a mark. I thanked him and drove on to the second house. A woman answered that one, and she told me almost before I asked that their boy, eight years old, had been found standing barefoot in the middle of the road at midnight two weeks back.

Eyes open. Wouldn't answer when they called his name. They had to pick him up and carry him back to the house, and he woke up the next morning with no memory of leaving his bed.

"The road was warm," she said.

"He said the road was warm on his feet. That's the only thing he remembers."

I sat in the truck on the shoulder afterward with the engine off and called Austin.

"Vibration reads fourteen seconds," I said.

"Same as Claiborne. Surface temperature twelve degrees over ambient, no sun exposure to explain it. Well water's turned warm and sweet on at least one property. Two children affected — one adolescent sleepwalking toward the road since February, one eight-year-old found unresponsive on the asphalt at midnight. I'm recommending the Desk mobilize a containment assessment immediately."

There was that pause he does. Then: "Document and leave."

"I'm not leaving," I said.

"Not until the families on that stretch are off the road."

Silence again, longer this time, long enough I could hear him breathing on the other end of the line.

"Document it first," he said, and that was all.

I drove back that evening, dusk coming down flat and gray over the fields, and knocked on Jaden's door again. He looked surprised to see me twice in one day.

"Something I can do?" he said.

I wrote my cell number on the back of one of my field cards and handed it to him.

"Call me if anything changes overnight," I said.

"Anything at all. Doesn't matter what time it is."

The phone woke me a little before seven. Jaden's voice, tight and careful in a way I hadn't heard from him yet.

"She's at the window," he said.

"Kitchen window. Been there since before it was light out."

"She talking?"

"No. Just standing there. Won't come away from it."

"I'm coming," I said.

The drive out felt longer than it was. Gray light, mist sitting low over the fields, and when I hit the affected stretch I knew. The soft section had grown. Fifty yards past where it ended the day before, on both sides, the blacktop had gone dark and slick-looking, like it had sweated overnight. A farm truck had come through sometime after dawn and left tracks in it — real tracks, an inch deep, the tread pattern pressed into the asphalt like it was hot tar in July.

I drove past it to the house. Tammy was at the window exactly like he said. Barefoot, in a nightgown, both hands flat on the glass, staring out at the road like she was waiting on something to come up the driveway. I put my hand on her shoulder and said her name and she didn't startle, didn't flinch, just turned her head slow.

"Tammy," I said again.

"Come on away from there."

She let me walk her back from the window. Didn't say a word. Jaden stood behind us with his hands hanging at his sides, not knowing what to do with them.

"There's a gas line issue under that road," I told him.

"County'll be in touch. You need to load your family up and go today. Today, Jaden. Not tomorrow."

He looked at me a long second. "You said federal."

"I did."

"This about the water."

"Load up," I said.

"I'll explain what I can when I can."

He didn't argue it. He went to get boxes. I sat in the truck on the shoulder and called Austin.

"I'm recommending immediate voluntary evacuation," I said.

"All three households on that stretch. Today."

The pause. "A visible evacuation requires a paper trail the Desk cannot easily explain," he said.

"I don't care what it looks like on paper," I said.

"I'm making the recommendation regardless."

He didn't say anything to that. Just the line, open and quiet, and then he hung up. Two days later he called back.

"All three households have been relocated," he said.

"Flood-insurance buyout, state administered. No public statement on the road."

"Fox family too?"

"All three."

I didn't ask how fast that kind of paperwork usually moved, or how it had moved this fast. A week after that the phone rang again, same landline, same flat tenor.

"The warm zone's expanded," Austin said.

"Thirty-one acres now. Following the old drainage routes under the floodplain, the Corps lines from the original project."

"Direction?"

"Toward Anguilla."

I knew the town. Small place, gas station and a church and not much else, seven hundred people if you counted generous.

"Rate?"

"Half an acre a day, near as we can tell."

"What's the containment plan," I said.

Silence on the line. "The Desk is assessing options," he said.

"Assessing," I said.

"The site is flagged monitoring active."

I sat there with the phone against my ear and the dial tone humming under his words even though he hadn't hung up yet, and I thought about Port Gibson, about the pipe and the flag that came after it, the same three words closing the same door. Monitoring active. I'd heard it before.

August called with a coordinate in St. Mary Parish, Louisiana. Berwick, a public boat ramp on the Atchafalaya. Prior federal interest. A wildlife agent named Douglas Allen had filed the report.

Hundreds of fish dead along a two-mile stretch, catfish and drum and gar floating belly-up with no marks on them, no bloom on the water, nothing showing in the chemistry. Douglas had pulled a water sample from a cold spot near the ramp and written down that the bottle fogged over the second he capped it, like the water inside was a different season than the river around it.

Three days after he filed that, the department moved him to a desk in Baton Rouge. Austin gave me that detail flat. I drove down and put a flat-bottomed johnboat in at the ramp under a hazy morning, heat already sitting heavy on the water. Douglas's coordinates put the cold spot about two hundred yards out in the main channel.

I ran out to it, killed the engine, and let the boat drift. I saw it before I felt it. A ring on the surface, maybe forty feet across, flat and still while the whole river moved around it. Not glassy from stillness the way a slough goes on a calm morning. It looked like something had reached up and smoothed it by hand.

I put my palm in the water at the edge of it. Twenty-three degrees colder than the river three feet away. And it pushed back against my hand—not the current, but something with a rhythm to it, a slow shove and release. I radioed Austin from the boat.

"I want the ramp closed," I said.

"The whole two-mile stretch. Commercial and recreational, effective now."

"A closure of a navigable waterway requires a public statement," he said.

"The Desk does not have the authority to issue one unilaterally."

"Austin—" The boat rocked under me.

I looked down. The ring wasn't forty feet anymore. It had grown while we were talking, and it kept growing while I watched it, spreading outward across the surface like something exhaling underneath. I'd drifted outside it when I started. I wasn't outside it now.

"I'm in it," I said into the radio.

"The ring's moving. I'm inside it."

I don't know what Austin said back. I'd already dropped the handset and grabbed the paddle. I dug it into the water and pulled for the edge, and the hull didn't answer right. It slid, but it slid wrong, sideways and then backward, like the river itself had turned against me. I pulled harder.

The same push came against the bottom of the boat that had come against my palm, steady, rocking me back toward the center a half second after every stroke. Fourteen seconds. I counted it, the same cycle I'd have called out on a stopwatch, the same rhythm I'd already logged twice before at two other sites.

I stood up in the bow. Bad idea in a johnboat, worse with the hull rocking, but I needed the paddle to reach bottom. I found six inches of water over a mud flat near the east bank and I shoved off it like I was poling a pirogue through a marsh, one stroke, then another, fighting that push the whole way, until the hull grated up onto the shallows and I stumbled out onto the bank with my boots sinking to the ankle.

I turned around. The ring was three hundred feet across now. Flat black water sat dead center in a river that ran fast on every side of it. I got Austin back on the radio.

"I'm filing a formal written recommendation," I told him.

"Immediate commercial closure of the affected stretch. Not maintenance code. Not a cover designation. In writing. Under my own name."

He didn't answer right away. "Understood," he said.

Two days later the stretch went dark to traffic, closed under cover of an invasive species response run through the state wildlife agency. No mention of the ring. No mention of Douglas's fish, or mine. Two weeks after that, the landline rang.

"They put a dive team down," Austin said.

"Center of the ring. To look at the source."

"And?"

"They didn't surface."

I sat with the phone against my ear and didn't say anything for a second. "The support boat's still anchored over the site," he said.

"No further dives authorized."

"What's the plan for the team," I said.

"The site's flagged monitoring active."

"That's not what I asked you, Austin. I asked what the plan is for the dive team."

The line hummed. He let it sit there a long time.

"I don't have an answer for you," he said.

Three months went by with nothing but weather in it. Then in November, on a Sunday, the landline rang and Austin gave me Clarke County, Alabama. A decommissioned lock on the old Tombigbee Waterway, near a town called Coffeeville. Prior federal interest. Off the navigation charts since nineteen eighty-four, back when the new waterway rerouted everything and left this stretch to rot.

A deer camp operator named Tony Holmes had called it in to the county sheriff. His dogs wouldn't cross the approach road after dark. Tony drove out one evening to check a stand near the lock and found forty-seven deer standing at the edge of the upper approach, all facing the same direction, all facing the lock chamber.

They didn't move for over an hour. He watched them, then he left, and he hadn't been back. I got there at dusk. The road in was unpaved, cut through pine flats, and it ended at a gate somebody had stopped bothering to lock a long time ago. I left the truck and walked the last quarter mile on foot.

The lock chamber was a concrete pit, two hundred feet long, sixty wide, twenty deep. Dry. The lower miter gates were shut and rusted into place, streaked orange down the seams. Nothing about it looked alive. It looked like every other dead piece of infrastructure I'd stood over in this job, weeds working up through the joints, birds nesting in the ladder rungs.

Then I looked down into the shadow at the base of the lower gate, and there was a shape there that wasn't concrete. It was standing. Upright, roughly the height of a big man, still enough that for a second I told myself it was a shadow. I got the binoculars up. I held on it for eleven minutes.

I know because I checked my watch going in and checked it coming out. The proportions were wrong. The legs were too short for the torso, and the weight sat low and forward, like something built to move on all fours that had been forced to stand instead. The arms hung long, longer in the forearm than they should've been, past where a human arm would end.

The head was small. Small for the shoulders under it, small for the chest. It didn't move. Not once in eleven minutes. Then it turned its head and looked at me.

Two hundred feet of dark concrete between us, and it found me without hunting for me first. It turned straight to where I was standing like it already knew I'd been up there with the glass to my eyes. I lowered the binoculars. I didn't run. I walked.

I walked back down the approach road to the truck and didn't look over my shoulder once. I drove until I had two bars on my phone and pulled onto the shoulder to call Austin from the landline app, because some habits don't change even when the equipment does.

"I found something in the chamber," I said.

"Bipedal. Roughly human height. The proportions are off—arms too long, head too small for the thorax, weight distribution forward and low. It made visual contact with me at two hundred feet."

Austin didn't say anything for a while. "The lock ran a program out of there from nineteen sixty-six to nineteen seventy-one," he said.

"Army research. Stress-adapted human-animal hybrid tissue cultures was the language in the file. Not full organisms, according to the documentation. Tissue samples."

"That's not a tissue sample I looked at."

"In the last two years of the program they produced eight full-term subjects."

"Eight."

"Six were destroyed on-site when the program was shut down in seventy-two. The records on the other two are incomplete. One was recovered in seventy-nine, here in Clarke County."

"And the other one's still in that pit."

"The site's been on passive monitoring since eighty-four," he said.

"When the bypass left it isolated. The assumption was that nothing would still be alive out there."

"Well, the assumption's wrong."

He didn't argue that. "What's the plan," I said.

"For the lock."

"The Desk's position is to leave it in place. The isolation of the site, the single approach road, the fact that no animal will go near it—active retrieval would require a large operation. Visible. The Desk won't authorize that."

"So nothing."

"Monitoring active," he said.

I sat there with the phone against my ear, looking out at the pines going dark along the road, and I thought about forty-seven deer standing still in a half circle, facing something they wouldn't get any closer to and wouldn't turn their backs on either.

"What's it been eating," I said.

"Out there. For forty years."

The line hummed for a long time before he answered. "I don't know," Austin said.

I drove back to Natchez that night with the windows down even though it was November and cold enough to see my breath. Tony Holmes sold the deer camp inside of a month. I heard it secondhand, the way I hear most things — a line in a report, a name crossed off a list.

He didn't put it up with a realtor and wait for an offer. He sold it cheap to the first person who'd take it and moved to his sister's place in Pensacola. Hasn't been back to Clarke County since. I don't blame him. I think about those forty-seven deer sometimes, standing there facing the gate for an hour.

Months went by. Nothing on the landline. I did other jobs, small ones, the kind that turn out to be a broken weir gate or a culvert full of silt. I kept waiting for the phone to ring with a grid coordinate in it. It didn't.

So one evening I logged into the Desk's internal system instead, the way I do sometimes just to check the status on things I've already filed. I typed in the basin outside Port Gibson first. Monitoring suspended. I typed in the Issaquena County stretch, the road that sank three inches overnight and put a little girl at the kitchen window before dawn.

Monitoring suspended. I typed in the Atchafalaya ring. The one that took a dive team down and never gave them back. Monitoring suspended. Three sites, three separate searches, the same two words each time.

I sat there with my hand on the mouse and told myself there was a bureaucratic reason for it. Budget cycle. Reclassification. Something with a form number. Then I typed in the Tombigbee lock.

The record came back different. No status field at all. Just one line, sitting by itself where the history used to be: prior federal interest — no further assessor action required. I tried to click through it. There was nothing to click through to.

I tried pulling my own case notes, the ones I'd filed the night I drove out with two bars of signal and told Austin what I'd seen through the binoculars. Gone. Not redacted — gone, like they'd never been entered. I logged out and logged back in, thinking it was a glitch on my end.

Same result. I checked the corner of the screen where it lists your access level. It had changed. Downgraded, one tier, quiet as anything, no notice, no explanation, no call from Austin telling me it was coming. I sat in that rental with the lamp on and the system still glowing on the screen.

It wasn't containment. Containment leaves a record you can point to — a team, a seal, a date. This was somebody deciding the fastest way to stop a problem was to stop a man from looking at it. Four sites. All four still out there doing whatever it is they're doing under the water and under the road, and the Desk hadn't fixed a single one of them.

There are forty-one sites on that monitoring list. I've been to eleven of them. I'm not going to tell you what the other seven were like, because I don't fully know myself. I've told you the four I walked into with my own boots and my own hands. That's as far as I go.

I still get the calls sometimes. Landline only. Grid coordinate, county name, prior federal interest, same as it's always been. I still drive out with the four-gas monitor and the flashlight and the camera, same as I always have. I don't ask Austin about Port Gibson anymore, or the road outside Anguilla, or the ring on the river.

I don't ask about the lock. If you're out on the water somewhere quiet, and the surface goes flat and still in a ring that has no business being flat and still while everything around it keeps moving — get out of it. Don't wait to see what it does next. And don't trust what the land looks like from the road.

Somewhere under all that green, under the blacktop and the fence lines and the pasture grass, there's concrete nobody's checked on in thirty years, and it isn't as empty as it looks from a car window doing fifty-five. Be careful on the water.

Hear it narrated.

The full episode runs 38 min on Horror Stories to Fall Asleep To.